Real students don’t open automatic doors…

(Entry 16 smells best with a drop or two of five for fighting-easy tonight).

So…many things change about a person after leaving Highschool and the changes continue when college grows to an end and university approaches. My friends (the ones who went to college) weren’t going into university. They were either getting jobs…or not really doing anything. I was at the time working in a supermarket and at a gym whilst going to college (no one else was going to give me anything so I had to go get it myself as should always be the way!!!).
The supermarket job was soul destroying! 6am-11pm…the lorry pulls up in the morning and I alone would have to unload all 20+ pallets and then stack them all onto the shelves around the store and jump on the tills when needed while the managers stayed in their little office avoiding work at AT&T costs…however I made some amazing friends there…one I could write about for many chapters…maybe I will at some point but anyway back to the story…
Life was progressing nicely for me, great friends, a unbelievable social life and home life was becoming peaceful after all these years…my mother was finally begging to see I wasn’t my father as she’d feared and life was good…very good. I was single, but had dated often but I couldn’t commit and I was always honest which resulted in me making lots of amazing friends!
Of course not all of them were happy with this and wanted to know why…when I told them, they we’re offended…’so she’s better than me is that it!?!’ And unfortunately I wasn’t able to clearly explain what I meant, I never thought of it as a case of better or worse…I just thought of her…full stop. But hormones and testosterone cannot be held in submission for long let me tell you!! The dates that continued, naturally I developed feelings for them and they for me, I was of course told at points ‘you know I love you don’t you’ and this broke my heart…I didn’t know, and had to explain I was the one for them and by doing so was I plaguing them to a life like mine…I felt the answer was no, try didn’t…couldn’t love me the same as I loved her…they would find happiness, I was sure of it…
Time and life working together for the first time in my existence…and right on que…fate stepped in to kick me in the balls…
‘Ring…ring…ring’ I usually didn’t answer numbers I didn’t know…I’d given my number to a few select people all friends and no one would have shared it without asking me first just like I wouldn’t with theirs…maybe I’d been waiting for this call subconsciously…I don’t know…all i know is…when someone rings you off a number at 11pm on a Friday…you should probably answer it…so I did, I said hello….and heard that same reply that always came…’hey’…no fxxking way!!! She asked was this Jason…I confirmed and stupidly (like I didn’t know) is this ‘her’…she confirmed…I braced myself for the heart attack that was surely coming…
She asked me to go see her at her university dorm, Friday…11pm…I was (sadly) already in bed, who was I kidding, I would have gone at 3am…(which happened). So I ring a taxi and off I go…
The taxi driver is a bit of a talker and he’s telling me about his psychic friend…I don’t want to be rude so I say a few comments then allow myself to drift off into my mind to think, the roads from where I was to her were quiet, I started out of the window thinking about what the hell I was doing, why she rang me, how she always got my numbers and what was I going to say…I didn’t know exactly where she was staying, her and a friend from the corridor were going to meet me…I asked the driver to stop just short of the landmark I recognised from her description, I figured a walk would calm me, I paid the driver (50 pound bad times)…and out I got, he wished me luck (nice guy) and off he went…I stood there for a moment, I loved the sights and feeling of the city, I walked across the road and before I could even compose myself…’that’s him!!!’ I heard…and with a blow directly to my gut i was taken back to all those years ago standing at Alton towers when my name was yelled with happiness and I turned to see her skipping towards me…tonight mirrored that perfectly…she didn’t stop as I’d expected instead she crashed into me with a hug, I never got used to these first hugs, I was sure one of them would kill me. She stood back and we took each other in…to me oddly enough…she hadn’t changed, she was a perfect as the first day I ever saw her…I couldn’t understand it…she looked at me and let that slow smile creep over her face…she was beautiful!
I turned to her friend then surprised to feel that old hatred of males around her kick in, foolish (he turned out to be a friend and an amazing young man, who at that time I took to care for greatly). He looked me up and down and say ‘wow’…this made me laugh and he smiled and she laughed too and grabbed my hand, so carefree for her, as though only hours had passed and not years…off we went to her corridor; they were living in an hotel, and a whole side of the building had been transformed into a lot of dorm rooms, we climbed the stairs just before reaching the door for her corridor I heard a lot of voices…I wasn’t expecting to meet other people at all, I thought it was just us…into the kitchen/dining/living room we went, I fell in love with this place instantly, it was funny I remember her telling me to not get angry, the guys here were funny and she said they wouldn’t speak to me at first, they never speak to other lads they don’t know…I didn’t care in the slightest I was there for her and her alone…but things didn’t happen like we expected, when we entered everyone turned around, everyone stopped what thy were doing and everyone came over to say hello, she looked on confused and then smiled and I laughed…that night was one of the best of my life, of course every night spent with her was but I don’t want that to lessen my love of this first night…we drank, we played games and we talked at the city outside turned from purple, to black…to blue. After the games me and her went into her dorm room…I don’t know why but this made me extremely nervous…it was no bigger than a toilet cubicle…and I loved it! One window, a desk and a bed, nothing else! The walls were plastered with posters and things she had collected over the years of her life including a dream catcher…I still think of that little room to this day…I loved it. She sat on the bed…I awkwardly stood there…1. I wasn’t built for this room and 2. That bed terrified me!
In the end I couldn’t pretend to look at the poster any longer and sat down on the bed…she scrambled next to me and lay her head on my shoulder…if what we do in life echoes in eternity…let that night play over and over and over…it was time for me to go, now dread flashed across my face…do I kiss her!?! She answered my non spoken question by kissing me on the lips quickly and then standing back…she asked me to come back tonight (now Saturday) I agreed, I went home and screamed into my pillow for the next several hours…I thought about everything that happened…that kiss, sitting on the bed all night just resting on each other…we were older now…we had education and money in our banks…was this when everything came together for me, for her, for us???
I arrived at the entrance and was immediately stumped…the entrance doors demanded a student swipe card…which I didn’t have?!? I couldn’t climb to her window and she wasn’t answering her phone…I was not about to stopped by a door! I grabbed the thickest part of the door and prized them open…all minds of snapping and damage was coming from the doors but I didn’t care about that…some students came past (I should have just waited) they looked at me and I said ‘lost my card’ they smiled and walk on by…please!!!…real students don’t open automatic doors…
I made my way to the corridor and to her door…again stumped by a door!!!!!! Do I knock…or just walk in :-/…i knocked…no answer, I walked in…deserted (sorry, there was also a telephone box sized bathroom in each dorm room). She wasn’t in there…I sat on the bed and wondered what the hell I do now…I didn’t wonder long…
The door opened and in she came (she was in her friends room, this girl also followed in)…she litterally dove on me, so happy it shocked me, I hadn’t realised but I was quite early, her friend smiled at me, I had a lot of time for this friend…I liked her a lot. She said I’ll leave you to it and removed herself from the room.
The days went like this, I visited and we were happy, we spent time either her friends who had now become our friends and my thoughts of is this it…is this finally happening we’re growing stronger and bolder…
Next…doormen and the night of all nights…

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