Magnets and the German classes…

(Entry seven. Written rather sourly to Birdy-skinny love).
So life had punched me down and then continued to kick me whilst down there. I had tasted heaven, I, against all the odds, I had fallen in love and like a feather in the wind…it was gone. A young Highschool kid should be full of vigour…for me, life had lost it’s meaning, 24 hours ago the world was singing to me, colours were vibrant, every situation was met with pure joy, life at home was actually bearable, I had been happy in life! And it had all been snatched away from me in an instant. And what could I do…I couldn’t age any quicker, I wasn’t ‘Jack’…it was hopeless.
It approached like impending doom…the first Monday back at school. I woke that morning feeling the full weight of my depression, I couldn’t see her, I thought it would actually kill me!!! But I couldn’t…wouldn’t stay at home…that might actually kill me so off I went….of course…I saw her straight away…and to my ultimate despair…not alone…
The boy was a year older, (he may have been the same age but just in the year above). The year above also went on the same trip to France. My hatred for this boy was all consuming, I wanted his head!!! My reputation already preceding me at this point, the lad saw my face and from that point on he never let himself get within 500yards of me. And so for the rest of that year, I watched on as he lived a life that was mine, with the greatest thing that had ever happened to me…I was miserable, girls were now paying me some attention, not to disrespect them at all as they were very pretty…they simply were not her! And so time went on and I grew more sour and distanced myself from the people around me…the year…was over, and it ended very differently than how it began….
The next year started, this brought with it new classes…German classes and French classes, in some strange twist of fate, we were unbelievably put into the same German class…and as partners. I thought God was torturing me but of course this was not the case, I realised just being beside her, just near her…it was like I was on the strongest drug and I’d used all my supply and withdraw was taking me and then all of a sudden I was allowed small amounts back into my system. Of course we were young so speaking German was more hilarious than educational, and like a bolt of lightning kick starting my heart, hope was inside me again. My favourite thing in the entire world was making her laugh! It was literally music to my ears, like angel song, I was addicted to it, it was such a happy sound. My ridiculous German accent made her laugh…I knew, she could remember who I was…so laughter became my weapon against that fools age! And just like magnets, slowly, north and South came closer and closer together!
After school one day she asked me to accompany her to the park across from school (let’s face it, I would have walked infront of a bus if she asked me to). So even though I had her in my life, it was still painful because she wasn’t mine, I wanted to kiss her, hold her hand and inhale her scent, but all these actions were forbidden…of course I didn’t care about that…but I didn’t want to offend her!
She pulled out a letter from the fool, they had broken up, oddly…this didn’t make me happy at all…because she was sad…but that changed soon enough, she told me she was ready to be in love and he wasn’t looking for that. That was the moment I knew I wanted her forever, you see my Frieda didn’t even know what love was! But I sought if furiously, I wanted it from her! And now I knew she too wanted love…happiness found me again, and then out of nowhere…the heavens opened, rain battered us, we didn’t even run for cover we just stood there looking at one another, I was lost in thought about her and I closed me eyes…then I heard her laughing, I opened my eyes and saw her, her head was back and she was laughing, laughing at me (I was soaked and looked ridiculous) we stayed stood there then for a long time….no words were spoken…they weren’t needed we just both knew…we were a couple once again!…next…on again off again and the necklace.


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